Calm Me Maybe

A blog dedicated to the eternal pursuit of happiness through all-natural methods of rest and relaxation

Hi everyone, and welcome!

on September 21, 2013

My name is Emily and I’m a 21-year-old college senior majoring in Journalism and Mass Communications.  With graduation day a mere 7 months away, I’ve been looking forward to the future and what life beyond college will entail.

I haven’t always felt that way.  A few times I thought I wouldn’t even finish my diploma, let alone hold it.

My family has been crippled by mental illness. Not only will it creep into the darkest corners of the person it captures, but it will also damage relationships between that person and their loved ones. 

Growing up, I watched depression destroy my father’s soul. He’s no longer the father I had as a child and my younger brothers will never feel the warmth of his heart quite like I did. The illness has taken that and his marriage away from him.

fatherandme

My Dad and I circa 1995

My sister, a beautiful girl with so much potential and promise, has put her life on hold as she battles the same demons.

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for a few years now.  After spending two years in an unhealthy on-and-off relationship that left me broken, it got worse.  I hated myself and rarely left my dorm room.   I cried every day. I felt stuck and I couldn’t find a way out.

A few nights, I had an idea that terrified me.  I wanted so badly for it all to end that it almost did.  I didn’t want to be alive anymore.  There was something that always stopped me from actually going through with it, and today I’m glad I didn’t.

Mostly, I’m happy today.  For nearly 15 months, I’ve had a man in my life who loves every part of me for me, understands me (for the most part), and loves me unconditionally. He makes me feel beautiful, and that’s something that I can say I’ve never felt before.

benandI

I have good days and bad days.  For the bad days, I have this blog. I will be posting ways to organically relax yourself, for days when the sun just doesn’t seem to shine your way.

Whether you’re battling a mental illness yourself, or just need a pick-me-up, I hope what’s here will help you and guide you to a more joyful place.

Everyone deserves to be content.  Life is too damn short to be unhappy.

Ben and I – Thanksgiving 2012
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